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What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

13.06.2025 01:30

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

“Making someone love me” is the most painful, most fruitless of efforts, because love cannot be manufactured in this way.

I would realize that it’s not my partner who is hurting me. I am hurting myself, by agreeing to stay with someone who is looking for something he is not finding in me.

There is another scenario:

Why do you think it is bad to allow people to self-identify as a different gender?

If my “partner” didn’t see value in me and hurt me searching for something in others, I would remind myself that I cannot change people, “make them see” or “make them love me”.

I would ask myself why I consider it worth my time to be with someone who does not find me valuable. Identifying this answer will over time protect me from finding myself in this same predicament over and over.

I would work hard at only being interested in people who are equally interested in me.

Why do many people think that Japan is not a gay-friendly country whereas 72% Japanese support same-sex marriage (the same number as in the US)?

I believe this non-love is the best I can do and spend all my time and energy attempting to preserve the very thing that causes me pain.

What happens?

In one scenario, I stay with this partner, wonder why he doesn’t love me, and begin living in a world of my creation where I believe that, unfortunately, I am not worth loving.

Why are white men so obsessed with Asian women? I'm friends with people from all different backgrounds but I never see my other non-white male friends obsess over or talk about Asian women like I've seen the white ones do.

I would leave this partner to grant him full freedom to go find whatever he is looking for and spend the time and energy that I put into that relationship getting to know myself. What I would find is someone flawed and worthy of love.